Can we just take a minute and praise God.... He pours an abundance of love and grace on us daily, He is involved in our every moments. Every single breath we take is provided by His ability to sustain us. He shares an immense amount of His power with us in the tiniest ways in our lives. I can't thank Him enough for loving us in such a blessed way that He sent His son to take the place of our sins, our set backs, our failures. And after taking them, He fully replaced each one with His presence in our lives. How mighty He is to not just sacrifice for us, but make us a brand new creation in Him. We don't get to just leave Jesus on the cross, we leave our iniquities at the feet of a suffering Jesus, and in return we humbly rise with the power and might of a true, beloved Savior within us. How grateful I am for that beautiful exchange and such incredible grace.
As some of you knew, I was recently pulled over for failure to stop for an emergency vehicle. Not only was I stopped by an intimidating police officer, I was stopped in Roseland. What better place to get a ticket than in one of the "crookedest cities around" as Major put it. The fines for this offense range from $250 to $2,500. I called my lawyer friends and asked for guidance from people who knew more than me, and they didn't really have any answers. There were a couple options that might help, but after trying, I ended up with the same answer, that there was no information they could give me and I would have to appear for court. "Take a deep breath, let God have this, it will be what it will be," are a few of the things I tried to keep telling myself as I anxiously awaited the prison sentence I knew I was going to get. Of course, the city of Chicago makes everything as convenient as possible for violators, and made sure my court date was almost two months later so I would have time to think about what I did.
I tell you all this, because in that period of time, my faith has been stretched and pulled and almost defeated by the enemy. I would over think everything, question everything, worry about absolutely everything. The opposite of what God asks us to do. Satan tried to steal my peace with the fear of man, something that God overcame earlier this year for me. There have been many sleepless nights with so many thoughts of what ifs and moments that make your heart jump. With my hours changing for work, he has tried to make me feel like I'm no longer serving a purpose, which God had already planned ahead in advance for me. I felt that if I wasn't doing everything that I used to, that what I did now was pointless. And he also tried to take away my desire to continue this work. I can honestly say that God's hand upon me was the only reason that I can explain how I kept going back. This isn't easy to share because I'm not one of the those that likes to struggle or let others know that this isn't as great as I thought all the time.
But to go along with all of that, I wanted to share with you what God has been up to while I have felt lost in the middle of this. He has lined up opportunities for me that I was afraid would never arise. He has covered me with a shield of protection even when I have felt a fear that shakes me to the core. He has softened my heart to people I never thought I would be relating to. He provided ways for me to get back into the heart of His Word as I face the enemy head on. He surrounded me with remarkable people who have encouraged me with faithfulness and trust. And at my lowest point, He took the pieces of my heart and held them tight and is slowly putting me back together.
I write this today with a renewed strength that can only come from the powerful God we serve. I come before you humbled by how God has graciously dealt with the sin of my heart and covered me completely with a love that I desperately need. I face my days with a restored hope and a desire to see the beautiful souls that I have grown to love. I wish I could fully explain the shield of peace that surrounds me as I know there is a battle for my heart going on. I praise Him for the joy that He specifically placed in my days this week despite the dread and worry that filled them. He has shared with me a taste of what freedom looks like, both literally as I walked out of that courtroom with license in hand and a dismissed case behind me, and spiritually as I allow Him to take all of me, completely, and use me for His purpose.
My prayer is that God has encouraged you as you face whatever lies before you. There will be struggles and difficult decisions that come against you, but we serve a God who is greater than all, mightier than any weapon formed against us, and who loves us so much we will find ourselves drowning in His grace. Look for those He has surrounded you with in order to get you through this journey and know He is loving you through them, encouraging you to remain faithful, and reminding you that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
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