The Journey

       In the Christian faith, I have heard a lot about the mountain tops and valleys a person experiences. However, I believe there is a place that gets overlooked. I'm talking about the steep hills we can spend so much of our time trying to scale, or the narrow foot paths that if we were to slip we would surely fall off the cliff. The period of time we spend trying to figure out the right direction we should go, or the moments when we feel as if we have exerted as much energy as we could, yet are required of even more. I'm talking about the journey. From the very beginning as we look up for what seems like miles to even catch a glimpse of the top, or the view from the halfway point where we have a choice to turn around or keep going, or that last precious step we take that enables us to get a 360 degree view of where God has been leading us. Each part plays an important role in our walk with Christ; for each one has something to teach us about ourselves and how God uses every moment in our lives for His purpose. I feel as if this journey began on a mountain top after quite of bit of learning through a valley. Nothing could hold a candle to my passion and desire for God, everything was clear and made sense, and all I could see was His glorious light for miles and miles. However, I would be a fool to think it could be like that forever. How else could I learn to appreciate the rays of light that burst through the canopy of trees; small, beautiful reminders that God is still with me. It's along the way that I can take notice and praise God for the fine details He puts in his creation; I can hear the melodies of nature coming to life and serving the purpose He specifically designed for them. I find out He is the source of my strength as I pull myself up and over obstacles along the way; I can only glorify His name as I take each step and persevere. We often hear that we should praise Him through the valley, and I without a doubt agree with that; however, nothing is as precious as the honor we lift before Him while we are in the middle of it all. Praising him for what He has brought us through which has enabled our hearts to glorify His name while we walk down the path He made for us! There is a lot to be said for remaining faithful when our need isn't as desperate as before and it would be easier to become complacent.
        I guess I share all this to encourage anyone who is in the in between, for Christ will meet you in the middle. When there are times you feel like you started out with direction, but somewhere along the way you may have gotten lost. Or it seems like you have spent so much time and energy that you feel like you should have reached your destination by now; be patient and stay true, for it's all in His timing. Or maybe you just need motivation to get you through the last few miles; keep focused and look ahead, Jesus is already waiting with brighter days ahead!
      I opened up a bit because that's where I feel like I am these days. I went from feeling on top of the world, to being kind of caught in the middle and not for sure where I'm headed. I feel like I'm all over the place, mentally, physically, and spiritually. I'm learning the true extent I have to go on all levels in order to let God use me fully. I've had to realize that it's not about my part (because it's not about me at all) in God's plan but how He plays a part in everything, and I mean absolutely everything! So many situations arise and I can't help but give God the glory for bringing them about. Along with the challenges have been times of excitement, such as seeing the building coming together right before our eyes (I will post pictures soon). I wish I could take a picture of Ms. Pearl as she looks out the window, it would truly make your heart smile and bring about an inspiration to be patient because God holds true to His promises.
      And then there are these kids:

           I know, right? I mean how did I get so lucky?!? It's crazy to think that working with them is what I consider a break! They cause me to get out of my thoughts and into a world of imagination, hope, and pure joy. Tears come to my eyes as I think of all they do for my heart; their hugs and laughter go beyond my heart to uplift my spirit. The love God has for these precious ones shines so brightly through them that I cannot help but be encouraged to keep going! He is helping me through this journey and I could not be more thankful! 

Honestly

         This is hard. God has been working on my heart more than ever these past few weeks. It started when a friend told me that they had always thought that missionaries would be happy with the work they are doing. Since then, I have wrestled with how I feel about things here; it's not necessarily "happy," but nothing can steal the joy this work brings. My perspective since starting this journey has definitely changed! I have felt convicted to be more open about life here, I believe God wants to use even the worst scenarios to bring about His glory. I must warn you, it's not always a pretty picture like I have been trying to portray. Much like a child's drawing, it can look chaotic, colors are outside the lines, people take on a whole new shape, and what should be easy to see can at times be difficult to interpret. I have had to remind myself that even though God can use whatever I give Him to reach others, He wants all of me. So I can share all day long about how He is blessing me, but you won't understand how precious the blessing is if I don't share what He brought me through to get to it.
         I feel like the cultures I have experienced are on two completely different sides of the spectrum. I never pictured myself having conversations about the differences a color pigmentation brings and how much of an issue it can be. I was naïve in thinking that people can look past an outward appearance or their own assumptions in order to get to know another person. Getting to know some people has been a challenge because they are so guarded, so some relationships will only be surface deep. I wasn't quite prepared for feeling so detached at times. It's not always easy being the odd man out, however, there are quite a few people who have been willing to take me under their wing and with a lot of patience, have explained many unknowns to me.
       Another part of this journey has just been getting used to the way of life. I didn't move to a third world country, I don't live in a house of mud, and I don't have to go days without bathing, but there are days I feel like I'm in a totally different country. Daily interactions or tasks cannot be approached in the same way; not every person is a friendly face, and not every street is meant for actual traffic. There isn't an easy way around it, no sugarcoating the truth, it is an extremely intimidating environment. It would be wise to get inside before dark, because when most are sleeping, the neighbors find it the opportune time to wake up. The quiet sets people on edge waiting for what will happen next to liven things up. It is so consuming that I can go days without hearing about anything else going on in the world. When we do watch television, it's usually the news, and they are usually reporting on all the nonsense that's happening in the Roseland community. We don't really talk with too many people outside of Roseland, except for supporters of our ministry or laborers for our new building. I find it so interesting that there is such a need in this community and that this ministry is so focused on every part of it; God doesn't seem to allow for too many distractions.
        I may not be comfortable in my new surroundings, but I am learning that God doesn't want us to get comfortable. He opens doors to new adventures in order to experience a new side of Him. I'm not allowed to run away when it gets hard, and trust me, it's usually always harder than I think. No, God calls us into the middle of the mess and to trust His ability to equip us for whatever lies ahead. I may not be the person who will change the face of Roseland, but He has placed me here to be His voice, to be His hands, and to share His love. This life calls me to trust God with all I have. That comes with some pretty stressful moments, but it also has some pretty inspiring rewards at the same time. Even on the worst days He can provide such unexpected comfort and peace. I was caught off guard this week by a conversation with Ms. Pearl. The past couple of weeks have been more challenging than most due to the busyness of construction and warmer weather, and honestly I have felt in over my head. Well, she stopped me the other day and asked me if I was okay. This is nothing new or different, but I actually answered her with a completely honest response. "I don't know, I feel like I'm going crazy at times." She just smiles at me and says, "Honey, you gotta be a little crazy to follow Jesus!" I'm sure those words don't seem extravagant or life changing, however, in that moment, it's just what I needed to keep going. What comfort to know that it's ok to feel like you don't know what you got yourself into, it's a normal reaction when your world gets turned upside down. How encouraging is it to know that we're not alone in anything we're feeling, we have someone to walk along with us in whatever journey we find ourselves on. And what a relief to know that when it feels like we are losing our grip of control, God reveals that He has been running things from the beginning and will see us through to the very end. He hasn't promised that it would be easy, but He has promised us that remaining faithful to Him will be totally worth it! And the hope I have in that very promise is more than enough to keep going!



Back To The Lego Table

     I got to listen to the sounds of life in the middle of God's beautiful creation, birds chirping a million different songs, insects buzzing with energy, and the earth starting to come to life. I cannot get over how much I miss just the sounds of home, let alone the comforts of the people that go with it. I am so thankful for the reminder that my God is still the God that created the universe, causes the sun to rise, the moon to shine, and life on earth to blossom in order to praise His name. What an honor to serve a God that can bring such peace to our troubled hearts, a calm in the middle of the storms, and hope to light up the darkness with the beauty His creation holds.
      And even when I'm away from the luxuries of home, I still find His hand at work, which is such a comfort. My thoughts kept going back to my mornings at the daycare, so I decided to share how my mind wanders (Hang in there with me, I believe I have a point at the end). After the kids eat breakfast, they wash their hands and play at the Lego table. It seems like hundreds of blocks of all different colors and sizes end up everywhere in a four foot radius around the table. It never fails that two or more of the children will be off at the train table with a Lego version of a train, tower, doghouse, or airplane. Then we have the fearless two year olds, who know no boundaries, and have decided that the xylophones, maracas, work benches, or cars are much more intriguing than Legos. Don't forget about the kids who have made up their minds to terrorize everyone else while they are playing. They never fail to deliver the daily tearful screams as someone steals the hundredth block, or knocks over the priceless mansion, or punches/bites someone for the toy in their hands that sends them to time-out every time! With each child, no matter where they have run off to or been sent, we always direct them back to the Lego Table, with hopes and prayers that they will get it right this time.
      This illustration is a close representation of the life we all live, and how God graciously works with us every step of the way. He feeds us with His Word, energizes us to start our journey. He refines our spirits, mends what has been broken, and washes us white as snow to prepare us for what lies ahead. We enter into a world that is not our home, but in it we interact with others like us, those who are different, some who are unpleasant, some who we grow to love, and others who we won't ever see eye to eye with. We get so caught up in our possessions or the people we're involved with, that at some points we get carried away and find ourselves far off from where we started. Or we lose sight of the original plan and find ourselves meddling in activities that are nowhere near what we were set out to do. And at times we find ourselves dealing with those who make it a point to make this journey even more difficult by stealing our joy, destroying what matters most to us, and damaging us to core of our beings. No matter where we find ourselves, God meets us in that moment to draw us to where He originally sent us. He calls us to remain in Him while we are a part of this world. He has an endless supply of tools and resources to help us get through every situation, always able to replenish our spirits when ours have run dry. He continues to send us out, even after we have stumbled, for He can and will use us to bring about His glory.
      I know it may seem a little odd to compare a such a seemingly meaningless toy to how the God of the universe works with us. However, if you were to see the look of excitement on each of those faces as they approach that table, and how upset they get when they are not allowed to play for a period of time, you may be able to get a glimpse of just how important a role God plays in our lives. Oh how I praise God for toddlers and what He can teach us through a child's point of view.
     

Life as a Follower

         The tarps have disappeared, the boards have been gathered away, and the hole is completely filled with solid concrete. It seemed to take forever getting to this point, always something standing in the way of progress; however, as always, God pulled us through and it couldn't have been more exciting! The daycare kids had the opportunity to come over to the house and watch the process. As we walked closer and closer, their excitement began to build, they were blown away by the monstrous trucks and all the equipment the workers were using. I can only imagine how it looked to see all those little kids smashed up against the windows fighting over the best view. Ms. Pearl was just as bad as the kids, which was pretty cool to see. She stayed at the house all day, just staring out the window (with a few million interruptions as usual) and praising God for how He had brought everything together. It is so humbling to listen to her praising God, she truly relies on Him for absolutely everything, and she has no doubt that in some way or another, He will provide. And the awesome thing is that He always pulls through! He has made an example of her to show that trust and perseverance in His ability will bring about His incredible glory!

 

 

 

 

Praise God!

           I have been spending a lot more of my time with some of the moms. Ms. Roberta and I try to come up with an evening once a week to spend with them. Some of them haven't experienced a group of friends that just gets together to play games, go out for dinner, or just have plain fun without any extra "supplies" needed. We understand that everyone, especially mothers, just need a break from the endless cycle of motherhood to be themselves and not have as many things to worry about for a bit. We have had some pretty hilarious conversations around a movie that was never really watched, there is a jealousy over dinners at Chili's, and too many laughs about too many subjects! It has been great getting to know them, I have learned so much about them and I am so thankful for the opportunity to share time with each one of them.


 My partner in crime, so thankful to have met this girl!

        Those kids were pretty adorable this week, every day there was something else they did that touched my heart and made me laugh. They say some of the silliest things and try the craziest stunts. As I'm writing this, I can't quit from laughing out loud as I picture Sherman standing in line (well jumping, crawling, spinning, etc in line) and then he stops and says, "Ms. Wendy?" "Yes, Sherman?" "You crazy!" I was of course not going to admit that he may be right, so I replied with, "Umm, no Sherman, you're crazy!" Sherman of course had to argue with me, and so he and about eight of his coconspirators proceeded to tell me that I was the crazy one as we walked down the hallway. I couldn't help but smile at that one. And then one afternoon I was laying out their cots for nap time and each time I would enter the room with a new cot, one of the kids would say, "Hello Mommy." It didn't take long for the others to catch on and shortly after they were all saying/yelling it! I told them I wasn't their mommy, but if they were going to call me that, they had to call me Ms. Mommy. They thought that was even funnier to say so that was the chant in the room for a bit, and then all of a sudden Sherman yelled out, "Hello Cutie." I busted a gut with that one. He said it with the orneriest grin I have ever seen, knowing he just said something pretty great, and then of course Mark thought it was fun so he joined in on that one as well. Children are truly a blessing, one that we so often miss out on with the busyness of life. However, there are moments that they won't let us miss. Ka'Mya came up to me one morning with a Poptart. This caught me off guard and I asked her what was up. She said I brought this for you, it's strawberry with sprinkles which I know you would like! I have received a lot of gifts, but never a Poptart, but graciously accepted it along with a sweet hug. Ms. Pearl explained that she wants her teachers to feel as special we make them feel. Needless to say, I savored every bite of that pastry and was filled with love for that precious girl. 

Sherman wanted a picture of our shadows :)

     Another moment that touched my heart this week was Bible Study. We're discussing being followers of Christ and how He truly changes your life if you allow Him. I was challenged to think of my mission as a follower of Christ. I know we are called to go and make disciples in order to spread the message of Jesus, but I'm realizing there is more being asked of me. I am required to do more than just to go. I'm called to continue to grow in my own walk as I help others. I need to make time for God, as well as those I'm guiding in order to learn how to lead them better. I can't lose the foundation that He has built for me so I can build up those around me. I cannot get comfortable even after getting out of my comfort zone. I was convicted as I listened to some of the responses, and realized I have to step up my game. It has truly been an adjustment (a part of me believes it will always be an adjustment) living in this environment, however, I can't use that as an excuse. He called me here, He has placed people around me who support and love me, and He has given me tasks that have to be accomplished in order for His will to be done. Complacency is not an option. Fear has no control. It was all too clear that even though I felt like what I am doing was enough, it's only the beginning of what He is calling me here to do. I don't share this to discourage anyone, only to challenge you to see what else you could honestly be doing. Don't stretch yourself too thin, know your limits, but if you know that you could do more for Him, go for it. He will be with you every step of the way, He will provide encouragement and support in more ways than you can imagine, He will protect you from the biggest challenges, and He will never fail you. He has called you to do His work, and trust me, He has the perfect plan for how you should go about doing it. So if you're at the starting line, in the middle of the chaos, or almost to the mountaintop, don't ever lose sight of Him, keep Him close to your heart, and trust Him with all you are, and He will show you the way.
 

A Sweet Reminder

         I can't tell you how exciting it is to see something coming together as I look out the window. It started out as a beautiful, grass filled yard with shady trees, room to run and play, and benches for the tired bodies to find rest. A safe haven for all who entered the gates, a place of peace and restoration for those in need. Now the grass has been dug up, tarps replace the trees, and concrete outlines the lot. It may not look as welcoming as before, however, you can't look at the construction and not be filled with hope! The slab will prayerfully be poured this week, and then the true transformation will begin. You can see the excitement in Ms. Pearl's eyes, you can hear the joy in her voice, and you can't help but trust in God a little bit more with every phase of this project.
          Most days I am learning something new about this culture, realizing that I will probably spend the rest of my time here trying to figure it all out. I usually come to the conclusion that I will never be able to wrap my mind around any of it. Gang life is completely foreign to me, however, it is a very real part of the society. If you look past all the crime and anger, you will see the longing to fit in, a desire to belong, and people searching for their place in this world. They are willing to do anything asked of them in order to be included. They may battle over certain turf or a specific person, but in reality they are battling for control that was never theirs to claim. However, it won't stop them from trying again and again. As I learn more about the culture, I am coming to the understanding that some of the moms we work with do not realize their value or worth. Due to various circumstances in their lives, those ideals seemed to have gotten lost or pushed aside in order to survive or make it through each day. They have lost sight of who they are and have been defined by their situations instead. My heart longs to be encouraging and supportive to as many as I can, but at the same time, I have no idea what it's like to be in their shoes. However, God allowed me to go through a period of time when I couldn't see myself as God saw me, so maybe I can be of more use than I know.
         If I think about it too much, I begin to feel as if I'm in over my head, but then I go to work and see those precious children. The world around me stops for a while and I get pulled in by their innocence and joyful spirits. They say the silliest things, try to pull the craziest stunts, and offer a brand new challenge every day. They are so willing to give you their hearts and share with you all they have in order to receive your love and acceptance. One of my favorite things to hear is right about when I'm ready to leave to go to the Agape Center during their nap. Some of them are still awake and they see me get my coat on and one of them will say, "Bye Ms. Wendy," and then one by one, they all are saying it. Warms my heart to know that for even just that day, I am somewhat important to them. I find myself wondering how in the world I will ever be able to leave them after this is over; I didn't realize how attached I already am. How I love to see Mark looking for me when he first gets to school in order to smile and wave and tell me good morning. Or getting to spend extra time with my dearest Janiyah after school and exposing her to as many Disney movies as possible. I look forward to Jalia's hugs right before she has to leave and right before she gets in trouble for taking too long. And oh how precious is Davier, who likes hot water now because he is three years old (Don't worry, I don't get it either!). I blame the appearance of any bicep muscle on Sherman because of our daily jumping game, which is more of me pulling him up in the air than him jumping. I am grateful every day to see Martezz, for I know he will find peace here. I enjoy learning the little things about Taymone, who's favorite color is orange and he doesn't really like any food other than McDonald's. How I cherish beautiful Darchae's sweet heart and warm smiles. I look forward to hearing what Ka'Mya has learned and seeing her grow so fast. And I can't get enough of Nevaeh's contagious laugh and heartfelt praise and worship. I praise God for the daily reminder of why I came here and why I can't give up. I may struggle, but my battles are nothing compared to the lives the women and children I work with face on a daily basis. May God use me to meet them where they're at, encourage them to be the people God created them to be, and love them just like their heavenly Father does!

Oh how I love them!!

Transformation: Challenge Accepted

"And so, dear brothers and sisters,  I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect." Romans 12:1-2

        There has been a constant running theme in my life for the past few weeks, and I finally realized what it is: transformation. It started at a conference a couple weeks ago, I was reminded of all that God had brought me through. My story is nothing compared to the stories I have heard about here, but it is specific to me and is a part of who I once was. God has used every situation I experienced in order to prepare me for this journey, no matter how unprepared I truly feel. There were lessons He taught me through my own foolish decisions and lessons that came from situations out of my control that I never completely understood. I know now that no matter how difficult they were, or how challenging they may have been, they served a great purpose in my walk with Jesus. He molded my heart with every struggle, shaped my spirit with every heart ache, and developed my faith with every let down. He filled me when I was empty, He restored me when I was crushed, and not once did He ever leave my side. I can stand before you now, wounded, yet healed by His grace, and without a doubt say to you that I would not be the person I am today if it had not been for His ever present Spirit in my life. He took a lost young girl, injured by the burdens she carried and transformed her into a hopeful child who wanted nothing more than to experience the love of her heavenly Father.
       Over the past few years, I have been changed beyond anything I ever thought possible as I spent more and more time getting to know what God has in store for me. I have felt challenged by Him to truly live out what I believe. I don't serve a God who stands on the sidelines, but one who is courageous enough to join the front lines and fight this battle along with me and for me when my strength fails. He is active and moving in ways that are not always noticed, but I am certain, He is at work. I was almost content with how my life was, I felt like I served some purpose, and I was comfortable. I was inspired by different Bible studies, encouraged by dear friends, and active in the work my church is doing. However, He and I both knew that there was more to the life He had designed for me. Before long, there was a fire within that no water could ever put out, a yearning from the depths of my being that no one could ever take away, and there was a passion and excitement that came only when I drew closer to Him. God had planted a seed long before I even realized it, and now it was starting to blossom. My thoughts were not about my life anymore, my heart zeroed in on His heart, and the next thing I knew, I was on a wild goose chase after what God wanted for my life. I no longer desired for Him to carry me, I was ready to run alongside Him.
     I give you this background because now I find myself in a culture that I don't necessarily fit in, in a ministry that is outside of my expertise, in a place of darkness and desperation, and in circumstances I have never faced. Every day I can physically feel the stretching and shaping of my endurance, I get overwhelmed by the amount I am learning, and I am constantly searching for His will in every situation. Before, I didn't realize what He was doing, but now I am fully experiencing a transformation taking place in my life. Every day He asks that we give Him all of us, sacrificing all we have in order to receive all He has for us in return. He challenges us to let go of the grip we think we have on this world, and let Him alter the way we think of this world. He knows the struggles and hardships that come with this life, encounters we are not entirely prepared for. But if we allow Him to take root within our heart, soul, and mind, He will transform us into someone we never thought we were capable of becoming and with His help we will overcome all that comes our way. As difficult as it is, I would much rather God spend His time shaping me into who He has called me to be than to stay the same and miss out on an incredible adventure with Him.

It's Worth the Effort

"And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns." Philippians 1:6 NLT
 
Dear Heavenly Father,
         Be with the person reading these words, open their heart to what you have to say to them, and may they allow you to work in their lives. Remind them of the blessings and joy they have been given; may a smile spread across their face, and warmth fill their heart as they think of all they have to be thankful for. Assure them that whatever struggles or challenges they are facing will not last forever, just long enough for them to grow and realize their need for you. And oh what a need they have for you, Father. We would be nothing without you, we would serve no purpose if you had not placed one upon us before time began. You have a plan for every one of your children, whether they acknowledge it or not; you have specifically placed us in order to do the most good for your kingdom. Don't let them lose heart in the middle of the battle, may they turn to you for their strength, courage, patience, grace, and hope. When they can't see the way out, searching for an end in sight, direct their heart to what you would have them focus on, draw them from the darkness and into your glorious light. May they be encouraged along their journey that you are not finished with them, this is not how their story ends. You are still in the process of writing their story, there is so much more to come. They may find themselves at the beginning of their journey. Father, let them be filled with desire and a yearning to follow you, longing to take that first step. Or they may find themselves wounded and discouraged along this road; bring about peace and healing in order for them to continue on. May each person find the courage to move forward knowing that you are in control, you are with them, and you will not leave them even after your work is complete! Father, you love them with a love beyond comprehension, may they be forever blessed by it!

In Jesus' Name,

Amen

 
         This week began with a running start, which is probably how they should always start out because everything changes or moves around so much that I believe God is trying to tell me to work on preparing myself for flexibility. It has been occurring to me that all control truly lies in God's hands, and He challenges me to trust in His judgment, His decisions, and His plan for my life. He is the only one who can ultimately see the whole picture anyway, I might as well get out of His way and allow Him to finish what He started!
       Ms. Pearl always seems to find tasks for me that require me to do things I have never done before and this week was no exception! She asked me to disciple a mother named, Lolitha, meaning I am to hold her accountable to her commitment to God, guide her through questions she may have about what she reads in the Bible, encourage her to continually seek after God instead of trying to find contentment in people or material things. It may not seem like much, however to the moms, one on one time is a huge deal. Most of the ladies are looking for a friend, someone to turn to when life gets them down, someone to uplift them, someone to be themselves with, and someone to be an example of a life lived sold out for what they say they believe. They have experienced so much hurt, betrayal, disappointment, and struggles that they have lost hope. Somewhere along the way they lost sight of their worth in God's eyes, they found love in others that continually failed to meet their expectations, they sought after a life beyond their means and came up empty handed. Despite the sadness, hopelessness, discontentment, longing, and heartache, God has allowed room for hope for them and anyone else for that matter. He is providing a way out, a path less taken, but totally worth the extra effort it takes to get there. He has designed a life filled with ultimate freedom, overwhelming peace, pure joy, unending love, and incredible hope for those who follow Him. What a day it will be when they embrace the true gift of life God has for them!
       I was also asked to help organize a day for a group of about 25 students, high school and college age. Don't worry, she sprung it on me at seven in the morning, so that gave me a whole thirty minutes to get ready for the day before they arrived. Who needs caffeine to get yourself pumped up for the day, nothing beats a time crunch to wake you up and "get your life together" as some say around here! With God's help, everything turned out just as Ms. Pearl expected, absolutely fine! The students got to spend one on one time with the daycare kids and everyone was completely wiped out by the time nap time rolled around. It reminded me so much of the first week I spent here last summer; completely exhausted, yet so incredibly blessed by the love those kids shared with us while we did our best to love on them.
      I found myself realizing how far God has brought me from the beginning of this journey and looking forward to where He is headed. Much like the groups that volunteer, there has been excitement and anxiety as I first met the daycare kids, so happy to be a part of their lives and thankful for the opportunity to love on them. As the day goes on, patience starts to wear thin, limits are pushed, fits are thrown, Legos are stolen from one another, tears are cried, and time outs are just excruciating. Its the time of day, just like the volunteers experience, I wonder how I'm going to make it through the next few hours, or in my case, the next year. But as the day ends, volunteers and I look forward to the break from the craziness, and I find myself thanking God for this opportunity. One in which I won't always be prepared, I won't always have the answers, or I won't have a clue what I'm getting myself into. However, at the same time, I am in the midst of His work, face to face with people that desperately need to know Him, and overwhelmed by the fact that He is using me somehow in the middle of it all.
     Even though I am exhausted, stretched beyond my limits, and weary from the work He has called me to do, I cannot get over the feeling of fulfillment that rises from within. I may not always get it right and I can't promise that I will be great at what I do. But I am here, I am willing, and I waited entirely too long to experience the incredible ability of my God at work!
 

 

Smiles like these do the heart good!