A Sweet Reminder

         I can't tell you how exciting it is to see something coming together as I look out the window. It started out as a beautiful, grass filled yard with shady trees, room to run and play, and benches for the tired bodies to find rest. A safe haven for all who entered the gates, a place of peace and restoration for those in need. Now the grass has been dug up, tarps replace the trees, and concrete outlines the lot. It may not look as welcoming as before, however, you can't look at the construction and not be filled with hope! The slab will prayerfully be poured this week, and then the true transformation will begin. You can see the excitement in Ms. Pearl's eyes, you can hear the joy in her voice, and you can't help but trust in God a little bit more with every phase of this project.
          Most days I am learning something new about this culture, realizing that I will probably spend the rest of my time here trying to figure it all out. I usually come to the conclusion that I will never be able to wrap my mind around any of it. Gang life is completely foreign to me, however, it is a very real part of the society. If you look past all the crime and anger, you will see the longing to fit in, a desire to belong, and people searching for their place in this world. They are willing to do anything asked of them in order to be included. They may battle over certain turf or a specific person, but in reality they are battling for control that was never theirs to claim. However, it won't stop them from trying again and again. As I learn more about the culture, I am coming to the understanding that some of the moms we work with do not realize their value or worth. Due to various circumstances in their lives, those ideals seemed to have gotten lost or pushed aside in order to survive or make it through each day. They have lost sight of who they are and have been defined by their situations instead. My heart longs to be encouraging and supportive to as many as I can, but at the same time, I have no idea what it's like to be in their shoes. However, God allowed me to go through a period of time when I couldn't see myself as God saw me, so maybe I can be of more use than I know.
         If I think about it too much, I begin to feel as if I'm in over my head, but then I go to work and see those precious children. The world around me stops for a while and I get pulled in by their innocence and joyful spirits. They say the silliest things, try to pull the craziest stunts, and offer a brand new challenge every day. They are so willing to give you their hearts and share with you all they have in order to receive your love and acceptance. One of my favorite things to hear is right about when I'm ready to leave to go to the Agape Center during their nap. Some of them are still awake and they see me get my coat on and one of them will say, "Bye Ms. Wendy," and then one by one, they all are saying it. Warms my heart to know that for even just that day, I am somewhat important to them. I find myself wondering how in the world I will ever be able to leave them after this is over; I didn't realize how attached I already am. How I love to see Mark looking for me when he first gets to school in order to smile and wave and tell me good morning. Or getting to spend extra time with my dearest Janiyah after school and exposing her to as many Disney movies as possible. I look forward to Jalia's hugs right before she has to leave and right before she gets in trouble for taking too long. And oh how precious is Davier, who likes hot water now because he is three years old (Don't worry, I don't get it either!). I blame the appearance of any bicep muscle on Sherman because of our daily jumping game, which is more of me pulling him up in the air than him jumping. I am grateful every day to see Martezz, for I know he will find peace here. I enjoy learning the little things about Taymone, who's favorite color is orange and he doesn't really like any food other than McDonald's. How I cherish beautiful Darchae's sweet heart and warm smiles. I look forward to hearing what Ka'Mya has learned and seeing her grow so fast. And I can't get enough of Nevaeh's contagious laugh and heartfelt praise and worship. I praise God for the daily reminder of why I came here and why I can't give up. I may struggle, but my battles are nothing compared to the lives the women and children I work with face on a daily basis. May God use me to meet them where they're at, encourage them to be the people God created them to be, and love them just like their heavenly Father does!

Oh how I love them!!