Every day I learn something new about the people I meet, it is so interesting to see the unique ways that God has designed each of us. He has opened doors into hearts that have been closed off, broken beyond repair, that I never thought would be opened up to me. I have always thought I had a purpose, but it wasn't for anything important, like it didn't make much of a difference. However, God has been using me in one girl's life in more ways than I realized. We have been meeting once a week for a couple of months now, and this time it was different. She came looking for advice, seeking encouragement, of all people, she came to me for this. I hadn't seen it before now, the discipleship process that I had studied and read about was actually being lived out in my life. I guess what got to me the most was that He has used me in spite of myself. I have felt unqualified and somewhat ashamed that I have put in the position that I'm in because I didn't feel like I was good enough or ready for the responsibility. I praise God for His faithfulness because that afternoon I believe He used someone completely unexpected to show me that I have purpose and value to Him.
He has also opened my eyes to how He works in even the smallest parts of life. We have been on a rollercoaster of craziness with the construction project. There have been so many times of discouragement, hope, frustration, and excitement. Despite the obstacles faced, God has shown up in multiple different ways to let us know He is still involved and this project will come together with or without the help of man. Whether it be by an unexpected check in the mail, a group of volunteers that want to help in areas that we haven't even shared yet, or even by having a nice day full of decent weather so the men can work on the building, God has not left us to do this project alone. He reassures us daily that this ministry will prosper and that He still has great purpose for it.
Now I told you that I have been learning a lot about myself as well, this is always the hard part for me, so bear with me. I have seen a change in me that I wasn't expecting. In the beginning of this journey, I took on the role that I was going to have to figure everything out. I had to figure out how to live this lifestyle, figure out how to survive without an income, learn the ins and outs of the neighborhood in order to remain safe, and figure out how in the world God was going to use someone like me in His plan. Since then, I have had to learn a whole new element of trust, and I have probably discussed this before and it's not a new concept, but the extent that I have to trust God is so much deeper than before. In order to experience this, I have had to let go of so much. I feel like I have lost complete control, which isn't a bad thing, but it is extremely scary at times. But every time fear tries to consume my heart, God has been right there. (I don't know why I always second guess Him!) Every time I worry about the bills I have, He brings about unexpected blessings from the most unexpected people. It is such an honor to see Him work through others in order to further His work in Chicago. There have been numerous incidents in our neighborhood where people have been hurt, the police have invaded our street and shots and cries fill the air. Despite the close proximity to our house, the property has not been damaged, no one has been hurt on our grounds, and God has protected me from seeing it live. I can't help but think that He knows me so well, that if I were to see it in real life that I may not be able to handle it anymore, so He keeps me from it even though I live in the middle of it. If we really stop to look at our lives, we will start to see just how much He loves us and the lengths He will go for us if we would let go of even the smallest amount of control we think we have.
I could tell you so many scenarios about how He reaches down and meets me in the most precious ways. I love how He will pour out His love for me through the warmth of a tight hug from one of the kids, His peace in situations that don't always seem like they will end well, His guidance when I feel utterly lost, His encouragement through a phone call or letter in the mail, or His hope when I would rather give up, but He assures me that there is so much more than what I can see. There are days when I can think of doing nothing else with my life but working for Him, because who better to be employed by than the one who provides in such unfailing ways. I could spend the rest of time being amazed at His ability to reach the unreachable and His ability to change the hearts that didn't even realize needed changing. I felt the need to share some of this as a reminder to myself and anyone who needed it, that there is so much more to God than we will ever realize and there is no greater adventure than learning new aspects to Him. I would gladly spend the rest of my days studying and experiencing all He is capable of and all He will do if I allow Him! We serve an incredible God, one who is great enough to move mountains, yet chooses to meet us in the most unexpected places to change our whole perspective of who He truly is.
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| Can't imagine spending my time with anyone else! |
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| I just can't get enough of these kiddos! |
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