Just a warning to my parents and any of my adopted parents who care just as much about me, this may not be the easiest thing to read. I need you to understand that I have come to terms with a lot more than I ever thought possible and I fully trust in God's ability to take care of me. I pray if anything comes out of this experience is that others will read this and start to truly believe God is capable of all He says He is!
This week took a lot out of me, I haven't had this challenging of a time in a while. I returned to a few new faces at the daycare, and by a few I mean we had about 15-20 more than normal! During the summer months we have previous daycare kids return and then an in home daycare down the street joins us for the morning. Let's just say that the noise level is raised a couple hundred notches, there are more arguments, more tears, and a few more deep breaths taken throughout the day. Along with the madness also comes more smiles, more hugs, and more random stories, so after some time to process everything, it all sort of evens out. In an effort to not go crazy, I spent a lot of this week quietly listening and taking it all in, and I thought I would share some of what I heard.
I worked with about five middle school aged children in the afternoons in order to keep boredom from creeping up on them. I don't know if you have had any experience in this area, but there is a lot going on in an average preteen's mind. Don't worry the normal comments about how they hate the teacher or think everything I say, do, or tell them to do is stupid were a huge part of our time together. However, I also heard multiple stories about how cousins, uncles, or friends had been involved in or were victims of shootings or violence and questions about how God could love the people that hurt them arose. I could hear a desperate need to be noticed because they have had to grow up as the parent to their siblings in their homes. Just like my preschoolers, they crave the feeling that they matter and are loved. I think I worked the most in the afternoons just having conversations with those kids than I have in the past few months. However, as I look back, I wouldn't have traded that time to be with anyone else, because for those couple of hours, I allowed them to be their silly selves and learned so much about what it means to be in their world and how they are trying to figure out how God fits in all of it.
I was reminded of where I live this week. I had come home to a couple of new faces, previous volunteers of Ms. Pearl's, that were staying with us because of her two small children while the rest of their group stayed at a different facility. As we were getting acquainted, my roommate came home from her month long summer trip; I can't tell you how much it meant to me to hear her voice and know that my friend was back. We were catching up and introducing ourselves and planning how the evening was going to play out. My roommate was going to leave to visit a friend who was in town and come back so we all could leave to go to dinner. As the rest of us were talking in the front room, the dreaded booms deafened the street. The next words I heard were from outside, "Get down, get inside!" Thankfully we were already inside, and there was no harm done, but my roommate had just left. I made sure our guests were taken care of and called my roommate. As soon as I dialed the number, I heard the front door open and there she was, yet again, no words can describe how wonderful it was to see that girl and hear her voice! I wish I could tell you I have been thinking of it a lot since it happened like a normal person would, but I honestly haven't. God has brought a peace that I cannot explain. I understand the dangers around me, I know I have to be safe, but I have never been more secure in the fact that God is with me. I trust Him to protect me, which He has done more than you will ever know. And I trust Him to surround those I love, for He cares for you just as much as He does myself. I pray for your trust in Him to be strengthened and for His peace to enter your heart instead of worry or fear after reading that. I know it's not always easy, but it is easier with Him!
The next day we took a field trip to the zoo. There was the added stress of the extra children, there were about forty children hyped up and ready for this adventure. After the mad dash to get lunch ready, and making sure everyone had a name tag and a buddy, we all piled on the bus. The anticipation was killing the kids, they get so excited about things I took for granted growing up. It is always humbling to work with these kids, they truly touch my heart in the most unexpected ways. As we traveled, the radio came on, they would dance and sing some of the words to songs I could hardly understand, and I just shook my head thinking I was just that crazy growing up. But then, "Take Me To The King" came on the radio, and you want to talk about a children's choir!?! It was the most beautiful sound I had heard all week, they knew every word, they lifted their hands in praise and everyone of those kids sang that song from their heart. I can't help but praise God for such blessings in the midst of chaos, when everything around you is a hot mess, but then He shares pure joy and adoration right in the middle of everything!
There were more random things I heard this week such as, "Right here, in these next few blocks, is the murder capitol of Chicago," "Ms. Wendy, if I didn't know you were from three hours south, I would think you were from Roseland," "Ms. Wendy, Ms. Wendy, Ms. Wendy!!!! Yes? Can I have a hug?" "Ms. Wendy, I'm gonna call you my auntie from now on," "Your hair is gorgeous Ms. Wendy," "Heaven is going to be the coolest thing you've ever seen boys and girls," or "Let's go to Chipotle!" Like I said before, it was a difficult week, however, I heard God speaking through so many people. He brought me to a place where I am surrounded by noises of all sorts, but His voice speaks the loudest in the quietest way. It is remarkable to hear what He has to say in conversations with children, with friends, or situations. I encourage you to take the time and truly listen to what He has to say to you!
